Deeper than expected.

“Live not for Battles Won.
Live not for The-End-of-the-Song. 
Live in the along.” 
― Gwendolyn Brooks, Report from Part One

There are moments in a person’s life that tend to shape them in a way that is deeper than expected.

I have had the opportunity to experience a lot of life in a short period of time. At the age of 36 I have had the fortune to deal with some of the toughest situations a human can. I have seen death first hand, I’ve served in the military, I’ve battled alcoholism and addiction, businesses opened and businesses closed, hell I was on TV,  I’ve stood at the Eifle Tower, kissed a girl under fireworks on the 4th of July, and I’ve even loved in the deepest of ways. Life may never make sense.

2017 has proved to be a truly, truly trying year for me. It has been the kind of year that in a decade I’ll look back and say to myself; “How the hell did I make it through that?” I’ll look back and wonder what it was that held my skin close enough to my bones long enough to breath one more day, long enough to take one more step in the right direction. But how the fuck did I make it? What was it? For me it’s not a what but a who.

There is a group of men in my life today that whether or not they know it have saved my life day after day. They might read this, they might not. But they know who they are. We may not have experienced the shit together, but we’ve shared similar experiences. I can’t tell you the exact moment I met each of them or when I realized we were the same. But none the less life brought us together. In the times this year I’ve thought it was time to put it all down and walk away, these handsome devils showed up, lifted me up, and lead me forward. They never pushed, they’ve only lead. I’ve stood by them when life showed up with the shit at their door, and we all went through it together. I have been in tight knit groups and close family situations but nothing has nor ever will compare to where the four of us are today. If there is something bigger or deeper than family; we are it.

So what about the “deeper than expected?” That’s just it, I have no clue as to when they happen, or why they happen. All I know is that they do happen, sometimes in the biggest of ways and especially when we don’t even realize they’re happening.

Why is that important? For me it’s a reminder that no matter what, I am never alone, I am never without, and I am always loved. Each and every day is special don’t ever let yourself believe anything less than just that.

Smile at a stranger, share a laugh with your friends, and be the person you want to be. I love y’all and thank you for reading this.

Andrew H. Garrett